Guess How Much Better I Am Than You

I've been asleep at the wheel for two months, but I've finally gotten back to business here. My first NWK post was an evisceration of the beloved children's book, The Rainbow Fish. So why not begin my return to blogdom with a critique of another classic?




Guess How Much I Love You (read it HERE) is the seemingly innocent tale about the love shared between a father rabbit and his son. In all actuality it's a searing portrait of a an oedipal struggle for power.


The premise is simple. Every time Little Nutbrown Hare tries to demonstrate how much he loves his father, his father must belittle him.


"I love you as far as I can reach!" says Little Nutbrown Hare.


Big Nutbrown Hare, taller than Little Nutbrown Hare, responds to this beautiful expression of love as if it were a challenge to his manhood. "Oh yeah? I love you up to HERE!" he says, reaching his adult arm far higher than his child could ever hope to reach himself.


"Well," responds Little Nutbrown Hare "I love you as high as I can jump!"


"Big deal. I love you as high as I can jump. Can you jump this high, you little shit? I didn't think so. Let's not forget who the alpha rabbit is around here."


I'm paraphrasing a bit, but you get the idea.


Finally, exhausted from his futile efforts to please his father and prove his own worth, Little Nutbrown Hair collapses. "I love you all the way up to the moon..." he mutters as he drifts off to sleep.


Big Nutbrown Hair, looking down at this inferior copy of himself, can't resist twisting the knife one last time and whispers, most sinisterly, "I love you all the way up to the moon. And BACK."


Nobody but Big Nutbrown Hare himself hears his last assertion of dominance. But that's just as well, because nobody else but he cares.