The Week In News

I've got a bunch of little movie news bits to share. I'm gonna start with the cool news, move on to the not-so-cool news, then segue right into the WTF?! news. Here we go-

Ratatouille hits DVD November 7!
DVDActive.com has all the specs right HERE. It's a single disc release, which is strange for Pixar. They usually don't get involved in the double-dipping scam, so this just might be the only version until the ten year anniversary edition. Of course in ten years your DVDs will be quaint little collectable coasters and movies will be transmitted directly into our brains from The Central Computer.


Speaking of Pixar, their next film has already got geeks in a state of slathering anticipation I haven't seen since The Incredibles started it's campaign. Wall-E looks like it has all the winning ingredients- the director of Finding Nemo, robots, and Fred Willard. The teaser trailer is nothing extraordinary, but there's been a lot of positive word of mouth circulating since February. Now there's a new website up HERE. Buy N Large is the name of a robotics corporation featured in the film. The site is pretty dull, but it's mere existence is the kind of meta promotional gimmick we nerds just love. And who knows, maybe it's actually the launchpad of a viral campaign. It could be riddled with clues and links. Someone do a thorough search of the site and get back to me about that. K? Gr8.


In less exciting Disney news, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has been cast in a new remake of the 70's classic* Return To Witch Mountain. Why The Rock, you ask? Well the director is Andy Frickman, who just directed Mr. Johnson in The Game Plan (that new movie about a football player who must raise his illegitimate daughter without looking all gay and shit). I guess Frickman was so impressed he just couldn't see anyone else playing the beloved "...Las Vegas cab driver who picks up a pair of siblings with magical powers..."
Wait.
I think I have my articles confused.
Lemme see here... Witch Mountain... Las Vegas?... no, no that's right.
Okay. Well this one's gonna suck.

John Goodman and Eddie Griffen are playing the title roles in the upcoming CGI cartoon, Bunyon and Babe. There's been a lot of wonderful stories told about the american legend, Paul Bunyon. This production from Exodus Film Group brings us a spectacular account of that time when "...Bunyan works with two adventurous kids to rescue his sidekick Babe the Blue Ox (Griffin) from the evil clutches of a demented circus owner."
Huh?
Are studios just making up random shit and buying existing titles to put on the posters? And what the fuck kind of name is Exodus Film Group? Sounds like an old VHS label that distributes low rent exploitation flicks.
They're the same company responsible for the CGI animated Igor, which looks moderately better. From the Exodus website- The movie tells the story of an evil scientist's hunchbacked lab assistant with big dreams of becoming a brilliant scientist in his own right and winning the annual Evil Science Fair. Exodus has assembled an all-star voice cast that includes Steve Buscemi, John Cleese, Jennifer Coolidge, John Cusack, Arsenio Hall, Sean Hayes, Eddie Izzard, Jay Leno, Molly Shannon, Jeremy Piven and Christian Slater. The Weinstein Co. is handling worldwide distribution for the film, which is set for a wide theatrical release on Oct. 24, 2008.
Alright, I'll withhold judgment because I'm a big fan of hunchbacked assistants and Eddie Izzard.

They're making a Joust movie. Joust, the video game. The one with knights flying atop winged ostriches. I just don't see how you an fuck that up. You could film a brick wall for two hours and as long as you throw in a live action flying ostrich duel, it will be worth my ten bucks.
But that's not all! From Game Daily Biz- Newly formed Hollywood production company, CP Productions, is bringing a number of new and classic games to the big screen and comic books. In addition, the company will package its sci-fi, fantasy and horror movies with video games. The plan is to launch the new Joust franchise with a graphic novel, which is being penned by Steven Elliot Altman of DC Comics and Dark Horse Comics, and will be based on Gottlieb's screenplay. The film has been given the fast track by CP Productions and should be wrapped by June 2008. Several A-list directors are already interested in helming this sci-fi/action project.
So this brand new production company is using Joust as the cornerstone of it's entire business model. How do I invest?!

Adam Rex Interview!

Adam Rex is producing some of the best childrens books today. His New York Times Bestseller, Frankenstein Makes A Sandwich, introduced a new generation of kids to the classic monsters of film and literature. Pictured to the right is an excerpt from his latest tome, Pssst!, a funny tale geared toward young children. In Frankenstein the pages of the wacky, sardonic poems are packed with sight gags. In Pssst! it seems Rex is toning down the art to fit a simpler, quieter story. In all of his books the compositions flow like animation. And in all of his books Rex's satiric sense of humor is in full display. Surely this must be a man who spent the bulk of his childhood reading Far Side cartoons and watching Boris Karloff films on Creature Double Feature every Saturday afternoon.

Rex is now poised to unleash his most ambitious project to date. The True Meaning Of Smekday is a science fiction opus best described by the author himself-

Rex- It follows the life of Gratuity Tucci (Tip to her friends) after her mother is abducted by the same aliens (Boov) that go on to conquer the human race and move all Americans onto a reservation in Florida.
Despite being only eleven, Gratuity stubbornly insists on driving herself to Florida rather than take the alien transports. On the way she picks up a fugitive alien named J.Lo and from there it's sort of a Hope/Crosby road picture but with more spaceships.

Nerds- That sounds insane. How long have you been working on this story? Is the name J. Lo a coincidence or a deliberate reference?

R- I've been working on the story off and on since some time in 2001. I feel as if I'm still working on it, as I'm sort of toying around with a short story that would take place after the close of the novel.
J.Lo is indeed an intentional reference. It's kind of an old joke: the fish-out-of-water character (in this case, my Boov outcast) chooses what he thinks will be an inconspicuous name. I imagined the Boov reviewing our media right before landing and thinking this "J.Lo" name was a lot more popular than it really is. All humans look kind of simiar to him, so he wasn't aware that all those J.Lo references in the media were about the same person.
It felt like a hilarious original idea to me at the time, but then I realized it was really another form of the "Ford Prefect" joke from the Hitchhikers series. And J.Lo was originally named Oprah, which eventually alerted me to the fact that the same joke was used in the first Austin Powers movie. But I'm glad I did it nonetheless.

N- I doubt kids would notice the similarity ( I didn't, anyway). But if some sci-fi savvy parent notices it and points the kid towards Douglas Adams, well that's automatically a good thing.

R- I first read Adams's trilogy when I was 11, I think, so I've always thought of his books as being all-ages material. I hope you're right.

N- Is this a children's book similar to your others or more of a graphic novel?

R- Well, it's a novel, so in that respect it's not very similar to my previous books. But it's not a graphic novel per se. It does contain about 10 or 15 pages of story in comics format, and is heavily illustrated, but otherwise it's a prose novel. I think of it as being appropriate for people age 9 or 10 and up.

N- I'm a big fan of that format.
Has Frankenstein's success given you more creative freedom to play with different formats?

R- Well, I think the current craze for graphic novels and hybrids helps more than anything. I think the full slate of publishers are really pushing to appear up-to-date and so forth.
But Frankenstein has given me a bit of a track record, and that's nice. I'm working on Frankenstein Makes a Sequel right now, and I'm being given a lot of rein.

N- Are you sticking with the classic monsters or including new characters?

R- It looks like it's going to be a lot of classic monsters from movies and Victorian literature, like the first book. A number of the same characters will return with new poems, or at least as background characters and in supporting roles. Frankenstein's wedding arrangements will be addressed, and there's a poem titled "The Bride of Fankenstein Wrote Her Own Vows." Former background monsters like Medusa and the Sphinx will likely have their own poems, as well. Oh, and excerpts from the Headless Horseman's blog will be shared.

N- Do you enjoy writing this stuff as much as illustrating it?

R- Yeah, I really do. Maybe even moreso at the moment. I've been an illustrator for about 13 years, and while I wouldn't want to give the picture that drawing and painting doesn't still present a boatload of challenges, I have a certain comfort level there. Writing is still kind of scary, but carnival scary, not lung disease scary.

N- The Smekday site has gotten pretty crazy lately. Animation, puppet shows. Would you like to see that online stuff expanded once the book is released?

R- I'm going to keep working on the website, adding more content whenever I can. Especially to the "What's in the Time Capsule" page. Maybe if the book does well I can get someone to help me out with all that. Right now it's just me.

N- If there's one industry- children's books, comics, television, film, whatever- in which you could have supreme reign, which one would it be and how would you change it?

R- I guess the industry I would pick is the industry I already have picked–children's books. But not necessarily because it's the one that needs the most fixing. Though I fear it's starting to have the same problems as the film industry. That business seems to have backed itself into a corner where the only "viable" movies are those that cost a gajillion dollars and must premier at number one and make 200 million dollars, and those that cost 5 million to make and play in art houses. The same seems to be happening in kids' books, in that attention now falls almost entirely on the blockbuster series and so forth. One of my editors told me the other day that the "midlist" titles are disappearing–the solid, well-written books that do modestly well, stay in print forever, and never make anyone rich. I'd hate to see a theater atmosphere in bookstores, in which a title has just a couple months to hit big, or else it's returned or stuck in the remainders bin.

N- That would certainly suck. I look around the kids section at B&N and marvel at all the shelf space the series books are using. Is it my imagination or are there more multi-book series crowding out stand-alone titles?

R- That's the paradigm now–series titles. All the kids read the same one, and it becomes something of a shared cultural experience that can give rise to a situation where every bookstore in America is full of kids in costume at midnight the day HP7 came out. That's the extreme, of course, and I can't even say it's really a bad thing. A lot of kids are reading. They're all reading the same three books, perhaps, but they're reading.

N- Have you seen any of the OMGBLOCKBUSTER flicks this summer? And if so, were you as bitterly disappointed with Spider-Man 3 as I was?

R- I definitely thought it was the weakest of the three. Such a downer. I wanted to go right home and rewrite it. And then...I don't know...send my draft back in time and to Sam Raimi's mailbox somehow.
I've also seen Ratatouille (great), Superbad (great), Hot Fuzz (great), Knocked Up (great) and the last Harry Potter (fine). Probably only the last qualifies as a blockbuster.

N- I was going to ask about your influences, but they are pretty apparent from your work. It seems like you primarily write/illustrate genres you want to see. Are there any other influences we haven't seen yet that you're itching to riff on or explore?

R- Well, I really want to touch on superheroes somehow, but everyone and their Aunt Harriet these days is doing modern or postmodern superhero stories. I think maybe I just need to get famous and pull a Joss Whedon, start writing stories about the characters of my youth, rather than inventing my own analogs of them. I really admire what he's done with his Astonishing X-Men run–created new stories that really feel like they belong within the canon, and within the continuity, but which are also modern and funny without getting snarky or overly self-referential.
I'd really like to see if I could write a good non-genre story though, to be honest. Movies like Little Miss Sunshine or Rushmore, or books like The Corrections make me realize how easy it is to write genre, compared to the difficulty of just writing about people with character-driven stories in something like the real world.

N- You could be in luck. Your style would fit well with the Marvel Adventures line of all-ages superhero titles. From there you could go on to reinvent the medium and conquer the world.

R- Well, that's the five-year plan. World-conquering.

Check out all of Adam's stuff at http://www.adamrex.com/

Summer Vacation!

I leave for vacation tomorrow, so you'll have to wait an entire week for another post. Be strong.

I'm taking the wife and kids to the Jersey shore, where I've vacationed every summer for as long as I can remember. I have great memories of the three of us (me, my brother, my mom) stuffing the station wagon with clothes, beach blankets, and boogie boards. We all had to cram into the front seat with boxes packed under our feet. In the 70's, seat belts were for pussies.

Our trip started with a visit to ye olde local news agency and cigar shop* for reading material. My brother and I were each given ten dollars to stock up on Mad magazines, Don Martin paperbacks, Archie digests and Marvel treasury editions. He would also buy an occasional Sports Illustrated. Weirdo. 1980 was a landmark year because my brother dropped a big portion of his budget on the glossy Official Empire Strikes Back movie magazine.

This year I brought the wife and kids to Borders to stock up on some beach reading. The two year old got a couple of Sandra Boynton's excellent board books. My eight year old was disappointed they didn't have any Franny K Stein paperbacks, but was happy to get a Calvin & Hobbes collection. She also got Andrew Lost On The Dog about two kids that shrink themselves and get lost on top of a dog. It's part of what looks to be a fun series, so I'll probably write about it later. All told, we dropped a hundred bucks on all four of us. Oh, and earlier I picked up a Nick Magazine cartoon collection for "car reading". It's getting #*$%&!! expensive to maintain family traditions.

If we suffer a rainy day, we might just brave the local theater for a matinee of Underdog. My kids laugh like maniacs at the trailer. Hey, it's gotta be better than that cinematic crotch-punch Daddy Day Camp.

If you're looking for a movie this weekend, hire a sitter and go watch Superbad. The geek word on the street is that it's just as hilarious as anything else Judd Apatow has given us. Hilariouser, even! Hilariousest? Check out the reviews HERE. And HERE.

See you all at the end of the month!

*The News Agency & Tobacco Shop was the last of it's kind. It was fully stocked with a large array of magazines, trashy paperbacks, cigars and pipes. The odor in that place holds a firm spot in my top ten list of All Time Favorite Smells. If I were to rub some cheroot leaves into the pages of an old issue of The Incredible Hulk, the strength of the sensory memory would bend time.

A Return To The Big Screen

Last weekend saw one of the odder theatrical re-releases- the kitschy fantasy favorite Labyrinth. It was playing in a Philadelphia art house theater, proving that time can make a classic out of any film. Even one with David Bowie in spandex pants and Kajagoogoo hair. I can only assume there is a cult of eager Ludo fans that have been waiting half their lives to see this on the big screen. But it still seems like an obscure choice. There's no new DVD release coming and they chose the same opening weekend as another destined-for-cult-status fantasy, Stardust.
This got me thinking about some other films of my era that should be getting the re-release treatment instead:

The Dark Crystal-
C'mon! If you're gonna bring back a Jim Henson movie, make it the one the Skeksis. The story may be reheated leftovers from other better tales, but the visuals still work. Even if the puppetry isn't as believable as anything WETA would produce, the craftmenship and designs are top notch. I saw this in the theater way back when and I swear I felt my seat shake when those giant roach looking creatures busted through the walls.

Superman 2-
From the Kryptonian disco suits to Lois' clam diggers, this film often looks horribly dated. But General Zod deserves a return to the silver screen, folks. He's one of the greatest villains of the superhero genre. Hackman's Luthor is fun, but it's Zod's nonchalant arrogance that provides the perfect foil for the man of steel. And let's be frank here, shall we? After the emo musings of Superman Returns, the kids of today need to be reminded that Kal-El knows how to kick some ass. "General Zod. Would you care to step outside?" That scene makes me lose my shit every time.

The Iron Giant-
Lost in the shuffle when it came out a mere eight years ago, this one needs a second chance. Brad Bird's giant robot cartoon is the ultimate geek boyhood fantasy (that doesn't involve Wilma Deering). It never had a chance at the box office because it was released at the very end of animation's pen & ink days. Such a shame since this adventure demands to be seen on the biggest screen you can find. I'm sure it's legion of adult fans, no matter how many times they've watched the DVD, would leap at the opportunity to bring their kids to a Saturday matinee.

Star Trek 2, The Wrath of Khan- "FIRRRRE!"
You really don't need me to explain this choice, do you? Of course not. Although, I must admit I almost chose the original Star Trek here. I'm one of the few who likes V'ger (I don't buy into that odd/even bullshit theory of Star Trek sequels) and would love to see those ambitious visuals and hear those crazy late 70's sound effects in some restored HD glory. But Wrath of Khan reimagined pirate ship battles with space ships and that's just too awesome to resist.

New Jungle Book Movie

From Variety:
Pathe and the BBC are joining forces to back a $50 million live-action movie based on Rudyard Kipling's "The Jungle Book."
Project will be directed by BBC natural-history filmmaker John Downer from a script by Richard Kurti and Bev Doyle. Michelle Fox ("102 Dalmatians") will produce for Downer's company.
I have no idea who this John Downer guy is, but it sounds like he could make a fine film here because:
1) He's British. We all know the British make movies that are all classy and shit.
2) He made an Emmy nominated movie called Pride with every good working British actor (Broadbent, Mirren, Winslet, Hurt) doing the voices of lions. Note to self- queue up British talking lion movie.
I hope this one has those Beatles buzzards in it. Because they were in Kipling's book, right?
There's the full article HERE.

Rats and Bratz

Every now and then I think there just might be hope for humanity afterall. I was ready to pack my bags and move the family to Mars when I saw the trailer for Bratz The Movie. But since opening last weekend, the flick has raked in a mere $7,704,468. Box Office Mojo doesn't have a figure for the budget, but I think it's safe to assume the production cost more than that. Especially when you consider they had powerhouse talent like costume designer Paula Abdul on the payroll.
In the big Bratz debate, I am firmly in the DO NOT WANT camp. I find the products to be ugly and annoying at best. The entire franchise promotes mindless consumerism and gleefully endorses any number of eating disorders. And then there's the hooker aspect. We all know the dolls are conspiring to turn an entire generation of girls into ugly hookers. Ugly, bobble headed hookers with giant pink shoes and Sharpie marker mascara. And really, those are the worst kind.
It's nice to see this cynical piece of garbage fail (and not just because I hate ugly hookers). The plot pretends to celebrate "just being yourself", when in fact it's another example of an unfortunate trend in entertainment. It hinges on the idea that the key to happiness and self confidence is a makeover. Just change the way you look and you can be the most popular girl in the school. Because that's what is most important- being popular.
Is Ratatouille the best film of the summer? Possibly. I haven't seen Transformers or The Bourne Whatever yet, so I really couldn't say with any authority. I can say this-It's director Brad Bird's best movie to date. What's so refreshing about the story is the way Bird shuns the notion of popularity. By rejecting the peer pressure from his friends and family who can't understand why he would want to strive for anything above the status quo, Remy the rat spits in the face of our culture of mediocrity. The key to his happiness doesn't depend on getting the approval of the great unwashed, as Shakespeare once wrote. In fact, it depends on his resolve to ignore peer pressure and follow his own muse. Ratatouille recognizes a trend growing in our country to embrace stupidity, to disparage anything artistic or intellectual for being all retarded and shit, as Mike Judge once wrote. Is it any wonder that the villain's villainous plot of villainy is... MERCHANDISING!
It's a happy ending for the Bratz when they learn how to be embraced by the collective. It's a happy ending for Remy when he finds a way to persue his unique talents and share them with a few friends along the way. It's a happy ending for America when Brad Bird manages to smuggle his anticonsumerism message into a blockbuster Disney film.

Various Links To Silliness

Here's a bunch of links because I'm far too tired to write anything new today.
Titles From Dr. Seuss's Brief Foray Into Realism.
The Only Calvin & Hobbes Bootleg I Can Abide
Toddler T-ShirtSlogans.
Dorfeldt (nsfw)
Things You and the Cap'nCan Make Happen.
Trailers From Hell
Ways in Which Spider-Man Does Not "Do Whatever a Spider Can."
Frankenstein Hearts Batman
The Names of Snow White's Seven Dwarfs After Being Prescribed Paxil, Ritalin, Prozac, Lithium, Provigil, and Benadryl

Kids Corner + Nirvana = WTF?

Kids Corner is a children's radio show broadcast every weeknight on 88.5 WXPN out of Philly. It's also syndicated on Sirius satelite radio. I wouldn't call it great, but it's fun music and my daughter sure loves it. Silly songs like Robot Monkey Head and Star Trekkin', kids call in to say what they do in the summer, guests that talk about science, history and music. That kind of stuff. Well this week they've been doing a series showcasing the roots of rock music. Tonight they capped off the show with Nirvana's cover of Leadbelly's Where Did You Sleep Last Night. Yes. That one. The last gutwrenching song from the MTV Unplugged set.
I was alternately impressed and horrified.

Her husband, was a hard working man
Just about a mile from here
His head was found in a driving wheel
But his body never was found

My girl, my girl, don't lie to me
Tell me where did you sleep last night

In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun don't ever shine
I would shiver the whole night through

You should be able to catch the series here-
Kids Corner Podcasts

The Marvel Adventures Imprint

As much as I love to bitch about the slow, awful death of the traditional comic book model (i.e. the monthly floppy), I must give Marvel credit for their Marvel Adventures line. All the traditional Marvel heroes in titles geared towards, get this, KIDS! The art is clear and vibrant, the stories are lighthearted, and best of all, there's no convoluted continuity. Each issue is it's own self-contained story. Oh, and nobody ever gets raped by Doctor Light.

Which is nice.

Marvel is even smart enough to make the titles available in drugstores and supermarkets. I pick up the double sized "flip issues" at my local Walgreens. I suppose I should be patronizing my comic shop, but I like to support efforts to distribute comics where kids will actually see them. I'd rather see the mainstream magazine racks hold more comic books and less copies of Pre-Teen Whore Beat.


Fantastic Four is the best of the bunch right now. This makes total sense as the FF is such an inherently silly and fun concept. A favorite in our house is issue #12, wherein the FF break into Doctor Doom's castle to recover a hot rod he and Reed tricked out in their college years.
Spider-Man pulls a close second. The layouts are full of energy, even if penciler Patrick Scherberger's rendering of Spidey is downright grotesque. The wallcrawler looks like an anorexic Don Martin character. But hey, these kids today dig that style so who am I to complain? Sure I would love to see a return to the Sal Buscema days, but it's not my world anymore, is it?

The newest title hitting the shelves this month, The Hulk, was sadly disappointing. This retelling of the Hulk's origin is pretty lackluster. Even though he appears in half the pages, the Hulk himself is barely a character. He's more of a prop that smashes some junk and runs away. It makes you appreciate the work Stan Lee put into his personality way back in his very first tale. And they added a monkey to the cast.
Yes.
A monkey.
It seems the Gamma Bomb is now a weapon designed to wreck other weapons, but leave organic matter alone. It's placed on the test site to make sure the bomb doesn't kill anything when it detonates. Suddenly, Rick appears on the site to free the monkey, which is why Bruce runs out there and the rest is revised history. Now we're stuck with this monkey as some kind of sidekick for Rick. So if Rick Jones is the Hulk's Rhoda, I guess that makes the monkey Julie Kavner. Apparently the monkey (named Monkey) is going to play an important role in the Hulk's life. A quote from series writer, Paul Benjamin: "Monkey is great when it comes to things like bypassing security in hi-tech government facilities and getting Bruce and Rick out of tight spots." This could be the greatest team-up since HERBIE the robot joined the FF.
You can read that entire Newsarama interview HERE.

Now if you're like me, you're a cheap bastard and hate to drop a few bucks on a single issue of any comic. Luckily Marvel has that covered. They collect the Adventures line in affordable digest sized trades. If you're just jumping aboard, I (and my daughter) highly recommend the Avengers Bizarre Adventures collection, starring such awesome villains as Ego The Living Planet and MODOC. Ego was truly one of the most whacked out cosmic characters Lee and Kirby ever produced. The kind of thing that could have only been produced in the 60's. Here he is reimagined as the most EGOtistical (see what they did there?) make-out expert in the galaxy, lovin' and leavin' planets as he grooves through the cosmos. And no, that wasn't a typo back there. I spelled MODOC with a C. In the all-ages universe, MODOC's designed only for Conquering, not Killing. Now, I could waste a thousand words describing just how wickedcoolawesome this collection is, but I'll let this one picture do the talking:

If your local comic shop or drugstore doesn't carry the digests, you can also get them through Amazon.
Oh, and here's another article about the Marvel Adventures line from the comic book freaks over at RACK RAIDS.

The Real Popeye Hits DVD

If you click on that pic to enlarge it, you will see it says This compilation is intended for the adult collector and may not be suitable for children.
Actually, I'm sure it's full of wonderful life lessons such as violence solves everything and women are property, but I still find it funny to see such a warning on a solicitation for Popeye cartoons.
I was never a big Popeye fan. Growing up I was exposed to the lame post-war cartoons. Shoddy animation, thin characters, boring plots. I've since seen some of the Fleischer episodes, and to be sure, they are filet mignon compared to the beef jerky I grew up with. Now with this newly restored super deluxe complete etc. etc. DVD set, I can finally dive in and experience Popeye in all his original muttering, ass-kicking glory. As soon as Netflix sends it. "Very long wait". Mutter grumble gripe.
In the meantime, check out this nifty slide show from Slate HERE.

Hello Kitty, Hello SHAME

Look at that officer. That is the face of shame. That is the face of a man who can never look his wife and children in the eye again. Hester Prynne's got nothing on this poor man.

BANGKOK, Aug. 7 — It is the pink armband of shame for wayward police officers, as cute as can be with a Hello Kitty face and a pair of linked hearts.
No matter how many ribbons for valor a Thai officer may wear, if he parks in the wrong place, or shows up late for work, or is seen dropping a bit of litter on the sidewalk, he can be ordered to wear the insignia.

“Simple warnings no longer work,” said Pongpat Chayaphan, acting chief of the Crime Suppression Division in Bangkok, who instituted the new humiliation this week.

“This new twist is expected to make them feel guilt and shame and prevent them from repeating the offense, no matter how minor,” he said. “Kitty is a cute icon for young girls. It’s not something macho police officers want covering their biceps.”

Ten of the armbands have been prepared, but so far none have actually been issued, according to an officer who declined to give his name while discussing this sensitive topic.

“After this policy came out, the police are scared,” the officer said. “It will be very embarrassing to walk around with Hello Kitty on your arm.”

Full NY Times article HERE.

Where The Wild Things Are

I'm traditionally wary when I hear Hollywood is adapting some beloved childrens' book. And by "wary" I mean "terrified". Hollywood has already raped Dr. Suess' corpse twice (with another reaming on the way). But I've got a lot of hope for the upcoming adaptation of Maurice Sendak's classic.
Just gaze at that pic above. That single frame offers more charm and delight than any standard children's fare. And if that doesn't instill hope into your jaded hearts, perhaps some of these names will. The director is Spike Jones (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, The Old Guy With His Ball Hanging Out In Jackass), one of our generation's cinematic geniuses. Spike wrote the screenplay with Dave Eggers (A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius, McSweeney's), one of our generation's literary geniuses. Now that is a team that gets my geek blood pumping! Oh, and did I mention Catherine Keener is in it? Be still my hipster heart.
This is Eggers' first screenplay, but he's an immensely talented author and I have no doubt he understands what makes Sendak's book work. Jones has already proven he can work in the Hollywood machine and still deliver an actual piece of art.
Outside of the IMDB listing and the above pic, there's no other info to be found on the world wide internets. But rest assured, I will be scouring the web like a mental patient for info.

Yo Gabba Gabba: Countdown To Annihilation

Biz Markie could be pulling a Silver Shamrock on us.
He's part of what looks to be a new wickedawesome show on Nick Jr. Yo Gabba Gabba, co-created by Christian Jacobs of AquaBats fame, is slated to take over your world on August 20. But already a few promo clips are turning kids into crazed automatrons. There's obviously some level of mind control going on here. I've seen these promotional snippets of dancing monsters and addictive beats laid down by Ernest Thomas' long lost brother turn my friend's toddler into a hopping maniac. Biz Markie's segment (aptly named Biz's Beat of The Day) triggers a pavlovian response, turning her into a walking beatbox. I sneezed and she immediately whirled around and responded with a series of beats and breaths. I think she thought I was speaking her language. Hope I didn't say anything insulting.
I gotta tell you, I'm a little bit scared. It's like that Ray Bradbury story, Invasion, where neighborhood kids all over America start communications with an alien army. Under the guise of playing a game called Invasion (natch), these kids serve as accomplices to the evil space people, setting the stage for our eradication. Or, if we're lucky, it's more like Halloween 3 and the show will simply broadcast a signal designed to explode the kids' heads.
Either way, when August 20 rolls around, don't say I didn't warn you.
Check it out here- http://www.yogabbagabba.com/

The Muppet Show Can Still Pack 'em In!

In my ongoing quest to achieve immortality by creating a couple of mini-me's, I constantly force onto my children the same books, movies and television shows I liked as a child. I'm proud to say I've had a pretty good success rate so far. My older daughter now knows more about Jughead and Riverdale High than anyone of her generation. Of course there have been a few disappointments. I cannot adequately described the sharp pain that struck my heart when she became bored with Star Wars (Episode 4, A New Hope, unmolested version). But a father picks up the pieces and moves on.
I'm glad to report that one childhood standard from our era is also a monster hit with both of my girls. The Muppets. I guess the unstoppable juggernaut that is Sesame Street primed them for The Muppet Show. We have the Season One box set and they watched that sucker till the DVD player spit it out and begged for mercy. My wife and I have always been big fans, but they ate up every element of this show with an appreciation neither of us could have imagined. They laugh hysterically at bizarre sight gags that are far removed from any logical context. A simplistic musical routine involving aliens that shoot steam, make nonsensical noises and finally explode triggers some kind of base lizard-brain reaction in my kids.
The first season was a bit clunky at times as they were experimenting with the format. Frank Oz didn't do the voice of Miss Piggy and she sounds like some kind of creepy male Kathleen Turner impersonator. Of course the kids don't notice this, but it sure threw my psyche off balance. It's also great seeing some olde time stars such as Ethel Merman, Lena Horne and Vincent Price yukking it up and having honest to goodness fun (although I must say, it looks like Joel Grey and Valerie Harper were phoning it in). According to the pop-up facts feature, Lena Horne appeared on the show against the wishes of her agent because she believed in what Henson and co. were doing. So awesome.

At the risk of sounding like a wistful old hippy, what resonates the most about this show is the all encompassing feeling of the 70's. Martin Scorsese aside, this was an era when many artists and performers were exploring FUN. Gathering different influences from theater and music and film and mixing them up to see what would stick. I'm all for the ironic brand of silliness SpongeBob brings us, but it's the decided lack cynicism that makes Gonzo's humor endure.
The second season hits the shelves tomorrow and I can't wait to introduce my daughters to Steve Martin, John Cleese and PIIIIIGS IIIINNN SPAAAAACE!

Stop Forgetting To Remember

Cartoonist Peter Kuper's work can usually be found gracing the pages of either Time or Mad Magazine. Between these two extremes he has also spilled a lot of ink in his long running political zine, World War 3, and on various comic adaptations of Kafka. His latest book, Stop Forgetting To Remember, is fine example of every alternative cartoonist's favorite genre- navel gazing autobiography. Way back in the 90's Kuper created the comic Wild Life for Fantagraphics Books. It featured plenty of funny self-deprecating tales about his dorky teenage years in the 70's, getting high and trying desperately to get a little of that free love action. SFTR gives us an update on Kuper's life now as a successful artist and family man. He presents reprints of his Wild Life material as the nostalgic flashbacks of his cartoon alter ego, Walter Kurtz. The creation of a fictitious self is an odd decision since we're obviously reading Kuper's story here. The alter ego gives no added perspective, but fortunately it doesn't take anything away either.
Kuper's modern storyline, which follows his years from the decision to have a child up to his daughter's first day of school, starts out kind of weak. There are clichéd conversations with drinking buddies about the wild days and how we're older and can't hold our liquor and OMG can you believe I'm gonna be a parent and etc. etc. But once the baby comes the book hits its stride. Kuper manages to convey the ramifications of parenthood, how it affects not just your marriage but your relationships with old friends, in his own inventive way. As an illustrator he's always had a good eye for how an image can intermingle with the type. Here he goes further by making the art abstract itself to reinforce the writing. The images start simple and then they expand and swell to the rhythm of the story without ever becoming a distraction. A great example is this page-

What's refreshing about SFTR is the way it avoids a certain level of whining you usually find in parenthood memoirs (Alternadad, I'm looking in your direction). At the playground he meets another dad who happens to be a struggling actor. Having both the fatherhood thing and the creative thing in common, the two become fast friends. Here Kuper makes a point of showing that parenthood isn't the end of life as you know it. If you play it right, it can actually lead to new and interesting friendships.
I have one last criticism of this book. It's heavy. I don't mean the story is weighted with intense ideas, I mean the book is fucking HEAVY. It's printed on a thick high quality gloss stock that gives the monochromatic color scheme a wonderful look. It was murder on my arms when I tried to read it in bed. But it's still worth the effort.
Check it out here-
www.randomhouse.com/crown/stopforgetting/index.html

The Rainbow Fish: A Communist Manifesto

I've long held the opinion that The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister is an insidious communist manifesto that encourages children to reject all that makes them unique. It assigns shame to traits that can make a child extraordinary. It encourages mediocrity. It suggests that friendships must be bought, just like Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, another worthless piece of-

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'm sure most of you are familiar with this book. You know how the Rainbow Fish swims proudly, and yes, not just a little bit arrogantly, throughout the ocean with his glorious collection of shimmering scales. Sure, he ignores the other fish, but hey, that's his prerogative. And when another ugly little fish asks to have one of his beautiful scales, RB (as I like to call him) is well within his rights to tell him to get bent. I mean seriously, when was the last time you went up to a complete stranger and said, "Wow! I love that earring! Can I have it? I'm sure you have plenty anyway, am I right?"

Well, after Ugly Fish tells all his friends how "selfish" RB is being, they all stop vying for his friendship. I guess it's not worth befriending someone if they don't give you a present for you trouble. Now RB is beginning to feel a backlash. Thoroughly consumed by ego, he wonders why it's even worth being so goddamn beautiful if there's nobody hanging around to admire you.

Up until now RB isn't exactly a likable character. But he wants to turn it around, you know? He wants be to get along with the other fish. So he visits the grand old octopus for some sage advice. Here is where Comrade Pfister really drops the ball. The octopus says if RB gives away all his special scales then he will find true happiness. Now if he had said just get rid of all your scales, throw them away, reject materialism, etc. I might be on board with this kind of Zen advice. But by saying RB should SHARE his scales the octopus indicates that indeed there is precious value attached to them. He is acknowledging that they are vital, worthwhile things.

But why should the Rainbow Fish have to give them up? Why must he relinquish that which makes him unique in order to find not just acceptance, but friendship? Instead of inspiring others to find their own personal best, the Rainbow Fish must lower his standards so that he can perpetuate a uniformly mediocre society. Fuck. That.

BTW- That Rainbow Fish puppet is actually pretty great. The colors are vibrant and the mouth moves and everything. When my first daughter was younger we played with that thing until the eyes fell off. To sum up, the puppet: okay. The book: shit.